Lost!!!

Here lately I am lost. I am lost in thought or lack there of. I am lost in what i feel. I am just on the lost side of things. I don't know what to think. What to feel. Or even how to act. I have been on vacation this week and I had so much I wanted to do while I was off. What have I done though? NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. I have only wanted to sleep. Just let me have that extra time sleeping. But that does not happen. I chose to keep Jessica home from the babysitters to save that money so I am with her nonstop.

John started his new job and now I am rarely seeing him. You would think that after so long of this I would be immuned to it. I would be immuned to having the feelings rush over me like a wave from the ocean comes over your head knocking you down. I have been real shocked at how my feelings are really playing on me right now. By not seeing him much I have a longing to be wrapped up watching t.v. with him or something. I actually miss him again. I am not sure what that is going to mean for when he and I are home together. I am not sure if he will hit my last nerve when he gets a day off and is with me all day long. I don't really know. We shall see.

I am feeling alright though. I am happy for the most part. I have not accomplished anything for the most part. It sucks but hey I am on vacation right now. :)

My doctor's appointments this week went off great. Things are looking up and I start therapy soonish. We shall see if that helps the shoulder.

Earlier this week I even went to my mother in laws house. She is working on making jewelry. I helped her get some of her inventory into the computer. She is working to get a website up and even do some parties. Anyone interested in seeing her jewelry just let me know. I will see what kinds of pictures I can get taken and post them or something. I am a little excited for her because some of it looks so great.