Just rants...

Here lately things have been pretty good. Things at home are just so. Taking the good with the bad. That is about all we can do sometimes. I have been in the doctor’s office for the past couple of weeks now for this or that and no one can really say one way or the other on what is going on.

One of my best friends and I had the opportunity to take a short road trip this weekend. It was rather interesting to say the least. I can see already that things with her are never going to make my life one of a dull nature anymore. We carried her son to meet his dad which was a good 3.5 hour trip for us. But before we made it to the hotel where we had booked it was ending up to be dang near an all day drive. We did however get some shopping in. That was nice. We got to sleep later because we had no children with us. I was shocked. J I rather enjoyed it though. Miss my kids, of course I did.

Yesterday, upon arriving home my oldest had already gone back to her mother and my youngest was once again in trouble. Trouble is nothing unusual for this child. She is almost 2 and I swear I am going to pull my hair out with her. The mama’s baby is coming out in her every time she gets in trouble.

Last night my husband then tells me that his sister has asked for some advice on what to do. I was like do on what. Apparently, his bio father has gotten a new wife that has chosen to find them. She has reached that goal thanks to the wonderful myspace thing. Usually I would have no problems on anyone contacting him or wanting to have a so called relationship with him. I am all for that family bond. This is however something totally different. John and I have been married almost 6 years and in 6 years I have only heard of this man trying to contact him once in that amount of time. John refused and would have rather not had anything to do with him. Now that I find out more and more, all of course hearsay, I am inclined to agree not wanting to have contact. I am by no means going to allow some fly by night family into the lives of my kids only to disappoint them every time. Reality tosses enough of disappointment as it is. The ultimate decision is my husbands but I have asked they not let him over to my house or near my kids. I am not sure that this is a man that I would like to meet myself much less have my children to meet. If that says how much hearsay I have heard.

Last year John’s sister contacted him and then not long after that his grandfather on his bio-father’s side. All of which I had hard time handling. I was not sure of what to say or how to handle it. But I moved past it. I am in contact with all of them myself. We are suppose to be meeting all of them this year. We shall see what happens. I am just not sure I am ready for this venture.

Otherwise all is well. The business seems to be busy at a steady pace. I am working on getting all the books in line. I hope to have them done sometime in the near future. I hope soonish because we are already behind on getting them input.

Another day in my life...

Today is one fine Monday. Not a lot of things are happening around here. I am feeling the stress in my life on my health right now. I am just not sure how to fix it. I know everyone says to relax and take time for yourself but that is one statement that can be easily said but so hard to do at times.

So far at work things are working well. I am moving on ahead of things and now trying to plot out how to make my office clutter free. After reading some about this stress and the effects of it, I can say that it is time to find a fix for it. No one else will be able to do it but me. I have to take this time and make things flow easier for me and handle them the ways that they should be handled and should have been handled from the beginning.

I have been trying to read a weight loss book that my room mate ever so kindly bought off of one of those infomercials. Needless to say I will not let him have any more cards and be unsupervised while away. I am happy he did go on and buy the book though. It is rather interesting reading. So far I have learned that this weight loss failure has nothing to do with what we eat or even how much. But I have learned that it is more of all the mess that they put in our foods now. That is what is causing us all to pack on the pounds and if you are heavier your metabolism is not very active to rid a lot of the foods we eat. I am eager to get back to the book to find out what he is going to talk about as I get deeper in the book. This book has caught my attention which is usually harder to do if it is not one of the juicy romance books full of details.

As with the book another thing on my platter of doing is curling up and watching all the seasons of Smallville. Somehow, I have managed to become an addict to this show. I am not sure if it is all about the interest of just that that boy is one fine hunk of ham. Whatever the cause may be there I am sunk into it. My routines have consisted of hurry up and make it to the bed and curl up watching this show for hours on end.

I am, however, being persistent in writing in my journal at home. That is sort of my relief from the long day at hand. I try to keep the complaints down sometimes but the venting is still there in my writings.

Work is okay. I have a lot of stress coming at me from there. I am not so sure that it is more stress or more worries. Worries are higher than the normal with all the cutting back and such. Cutting back on the building of homes and that means less workers. However, we are developing subdivisions still and selling more on real estate. I am hoping that this year will be much better in the long run.

This month is Jessica’s birthday and I have things ordered for the party. I have to work on getting the present and getting the rest of it arranged. I have a few details that are still up in the air. Things that are really important like where to have it and on what day to have it. I am sure it will all come to place here soon. I hope anyways.

Alyssa is getting older and smarter as we all knew she would. AT times I think entirely to smart for her age. She is one of those children that is always trying to push and see how far one will twist and turn for her to have her way. I am noticing that the more she does not get her way the more she will push and do anything to get it. There are times that I am not sure how to handle all the trials this child is pounding out at me. Some are directly at me and others toward her sister. I am not sure what that whole deal is. All of this makes me thankful we have a room mate for the other set of eyes and ears of what is going on. He is to some degree my rescuer.

Anyways, I have more work to do rather than rant on and on.

Just another day.

This has been one hell of a week for me. Things just aren’t working out the way that I want them too. I suppose that will never in a million and one years happen.

Here lately there are many changes that I am noticing and maybe some others are too but no one has said anything. I am finding difficulty keeping my head free of the clutter and staying ahead. It is almost like I am overwhelmed with things that I should be doing and getting done and can’t find the time or energy to handle any of it. I already have depression/anxiety pills. They work but they don’t give me that extra energy to handle everything. Now all I need is something to increase the amount of hours in my days. I already run on little sleep most nights.

As for the business, well it is going alright. I am about to start keeping the books. I am not sure that I am looking forward to that or not. That is all going to depend on if John and I can get along well. I am sure that it will be a learning experience for the both of us. I think I may have to double my meds to handle him. Lucky for me after our last spat he called and made his appointment with the VA and maybe they will give him something to mellow him out. We have good times but when they are bad they are bad. I swore that I would never work for him but the books have to be kept. Least with him I can tell him easily what I think and how I think it.

My trip to Wisconsin for a friend’s wedding is still set on Go. I am really starting to look forward to the break. Maybe then I can break my daily routine that is getting me in trouble. I notice that as a change too. I have set myself in some sort of daily routine and it is by far a good thing. If I could change that it would be much easier and better for me.

As my youngest child approaches her 2nd birthday it makes me a little sad. For me I don’t miss being pregnant nor would I want to be again but I would love to have more children. I brought up adoption some time back to my husband and he is not for all of that. I just don’t understand that but to each his own I suppose. The urge to have more children without bearing my fruits of labor is so strong there. I know already that my life is crazy enough that I am better off not having more kids in it but maybe one day I will have a bigger house and be better to adopt more children. My oldest is turning 6 this year and is a doozey. She already thinks she has outgrown us. Lucky for me the guys can handle her. I can handle her but there are some times that I can not handle that mouth of hers. She is one smart little cookie. I suppose that all parents say that about their kids.

My job is still hanging on there by a thread. I am a little nervous about what will take place as it is right now. I am sure to be okay but the stress is still there. I have been looking at my other options and hope that I don’t have to resort to any of them. I am rather bored but I can handle it. I have a lot of things that I could work on but nothing that will really challenge my mind. Maybe I will try my hand at taking a few classes. I don’t really know right off hand.

That is all that I have at this point. Just a bunch of stress in my area right now.