Lots of things!!

There are alot of things going on here really. Things that are just being handled as they pop their head up. John and I have had the chance to talk last night and for the first time since he returned I think that maybe he listened to what I had to say. Now I would not nor could I swear on this point. I can only make the assumption, which could lead me astray.

I heard from a couple in Wisconsin that we are friends with. We have an offer to come up there and she will teach me things about the social worker business that she is doing and they will help JOhn open a computer business up there. That has been on my mind alot today. Considering the pros and cons to that move. I am not sure that it would settle well for me to move away right now. I would be leaving the oldest child behind, the room mate, my family, and everything that I have ever known. BIG STEP there.

I did get to speak to a good friend of mine today. I spent an hour or so talking to him and that in itself felt good. Seems that he is understand me more than I think anyone else could have. I don't get to talk to him much because I don't do much calling around. That is bad I know. But there are other issues too.

All is well thus far though. I am hoping to get off work soonish, go pick up my child and maybe just maybe someone in my house will either take me to dinner or have it already prepared. They are hermitting up in the house so I am sure we won't do the whole going out thing.

I tried to get more keys for my vehicle since they only give you two. I went to Walmart and had two made only to find out that they won't work. GRRRRRR I have to go to the dealer to get them cut and get this they are $28.28 each. I think that is ridiculous for keys but then I think it would be cheaper than a locksmith or something like that. Why does everything have to be so darned expensive????

Okay enough of my rantings over not much. It is almost time to go home.

Idiots Muck Up Everything!!!

I have about decided that there are so few people that use common sense anymore. Why? How hard is it in these ages? My husband got me flowers from 1800flowers.com for my birthday. Now on my birthday I got a spring bouquet and chocolates. It is damn near 90 where I live and the idiots at UPS deliver them at 4:15 in the afternoon. Yeah there was a cold pack in there with them but they had been on the truck since 7am. WTF???? Then yesterday he wanted me to be shocked by him sending me white roses in a gorgeous bag. They did not arrive till after I left work and was home. The delivery people for UPS decided to stick the package in the mailbox. Okay my office hours are from 8 to 5 monday through friday. See no common sense. I have a real hard time understanding this concept.

Today I have called 1800 flowers about the redeliver of the melted chocolate package in which right now it is 3:09 PM and I have yet to recieve a package. Needless to say I expect this package to be the same as the other one. Melted chocolates and withered flowers. Yes I have been complaining to 1800flowers and sent my email over to UPS. If I don't get a call back or muchless an email I will be on the phone with them as well. I am totally not 100% satisfied with the way this is being handled.

Other than that the birthday was fine. John did real good minus my headaches with the flower company. I told him that is it no way no how should he ever order from them again. Under no circumstances. We have a phone book and local florist.

Work is moving along just fine. Things are rapid in going by and could always be a little better but hey what can I say. I am working on the website for work as well. I suppose I should try to learn the headache of that. My husband put a quick one up before he left for Iraq and now I am ready for a change. Here it is www.bridgforthrealty.com that is the one I am working on and wanting changes too. We will see if I get them or not though. Might have to plead and beg John to teach me. Which I can do that. I hope.

That is all out of me for now. Just disgruntled today.

Have a great Holiday to all.

Drastic Changes

Alright today I went and made a big change for me. I cut my hair about boy oh boy was it taken to the extreme. Well, I said shoulder length with layers and you see what I got. But so far I am alright with it. A good washing and a fixing would do well I think. I am getting use to it and have had short hair but not in a very very long time.

Other than that things are going alright for now. I was ready for a change and I think that I got it. I am thinking of doing some highlights as well but not sure about that one.

Marvelous Monday!

Today seems to be a marvelous Monday. I am so excited. I have two days until my 26th Birthday. Two days till I am one step to thirty and all I can think is where has the time gone? Where did it go? I had a baby shortly before my 25th birthday and now my husband is home on my 26th birthday so tell me where the time went.

I am not having a party on my birthday and doubt my hubby will make any big to do over it. Which the way our kids birthdays are I don't expect a huge to do over it. Just a little better than my mother's day would be nice.

As luck would have it, I have about 3 weeks to plan and execute a birthday party for my 5 year old. I am a little excited because now is the time it is getting fun. I was a nervous wreck with the 1st birthday of my youngest and have been going with the flow for some years with the oldest one now. I have no idea what to get her and she has no idea what to tell me to get her. She has gotten everything for some time now and there is nothing that she could possibly need or want. I just know whatever it is it has to be something for outside. I have no more space i n my house whatsoever to hold any more toys. Actually I am considering the good will donating some of the toys they have because they do have to many.

Well, gotta run grab food.

Awesome...Just Awesome

Have not really done much today. My backyard is looking more like I have kids than not. WE got the trampoline put back up and the kids pool and then I go for a slip and slide for Alyssa. Man at the water in the backyard. Alyssa and I also made bird feeders from pine cones that she got from mawmaw's house last weekend. That was truely interesting now there was bird seed all over the kitchen floor. Will have to note that is not something to do inside. Not to mention the little one tries to eat the bird seeds. I promise I feed her.

I have 4 days till my 26th birthday and I wonder where my year has gone? Did it somehow leave me stuck. I considered going back to school but not sure what to do. The husband offers comments that are more negative than anything about that idea so I don't know how I would handle it. Sometimes with those comments I want to smack him. That is coming alot more here lately than not.

His new business idea is just that. I suppose he wants to do the same as I would like to do. I am not offering out the supportive words when it comes to that area. I am just to damn nervous about all of that and can not get past the what ifs. The lack of communication on our part is not helping much either.

I was so looking forward to some outtings today but it did not happen. I got stood up by my best friend. :( She and I usually try to do the mother's day out thing together and we were suppose to go today and she called to cancel. I think I am okay with it but then having to stay home with my family gets to drive me nuts some. But we played outside in the water alot today, were on the trampoline, took a nap, and now I am considering getting some flowers for the front yard. Just contemplating now. Thinking that maybe it would be nice. Still think that I could do that for tomorrow.

The new car is great to some degree. I love the room in it and the way it rides. Not loving the gas mileage so much but hey you either sacrifice comfort or gas. Both of which will drive you crazy.

This is all for me today. I am going to do some house cleaning now. (YUCK)

Fine Day!

Today is a colorful day. I feel spunky and happy for the time being. Things are hopefully on the right road to joy and pleasures. Last night was a night with John watching movies. It was so nice to have someone watching movies with me like the times before. I am hoping that he will change to the John I knew and fell so damn in love with.

I am alone at work today. It is Friday and things are so quiet. It is unreal. What will I do. I took off work yesterday to find that I got nothing accomplished. I got in some naps with my youngest child. That in itself was priceless. She has become so strong and independent in her own ways. I could not have asked for a child so much more like me. I have a feeling that she got more of my traits than we initially thought she would.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about things and the road I am on. I am really going to consider going back to school. I am not sure how I will work that around my already crazy schedule. I have work and home, kids on the weekends and all the housework. But I know this is something that I have to do for the sake of me. I have to do something that I am going to be happy with and the could make me more money. My job seems wishy washy a lot here lately with things slowing down not sure how much longer it will be before I am gotten rid of. I know it could be a long time down the road. But I will like to be prepared for the worst case scenario.

Well, I have to get off here and become productive here at work. Since I was off yesterday I have some things to take care of. Enjoy the weekend. I am hoping to get out and about on Saturday. We will see.

Tempered!

Here lately there have been many things that have crossed my path in which I have been so unsure of how to handle it. My dad's side of the family has a temper and for so many years now I have pushed it in the closet and let him set without showing the ugly face. This weekend I saw it. This weekend I saw that harsh side of my temper. I had had enough of everything and everyone. That one more thing happened and I lost it. I threw a bottle so hard into the door. I did a lot of crying.

I have been trying to communicate a lot with John and it seems that sometimes he understands what I am saying and other times it is in and out just that quick. I finally told him last week that I was so damn close to the depression state that it was unreal. I could not handle anything else that was blocking my path and not sure what my reaction would be. Finally I think I have gotten his attention with things and he is helping me out more. He has not complained about it either. Every now and again he is slipping up and missing but I am there trying to put him back in place.

He is considering opening his own business. That in itself would just be the push to send me in that state. I am the one to stress over things where he just lets them roll with the flow. I can't do that. I have to plan out things and know what is going on.

Me on the other hand. I am trying to relax and get where I need to be. I am going to pull out of this state I am in and be happier in doing so. I have accomplished letting him back in on my feelings even though I think he is not happy hearing them. I missed my husband very much and still miss the man I married. This one that came home from Iraq is so different. So confined within himself that it is hard to handle sometimes. The once loving husband that was so sweet and considerate has gotten lost somewhere and made me feel that he did not need me anymore. Hopefully that will all work out in the end. We are trying to get back there. I don't expect them to be back to the way they were before he left because of the kids but I don't expect to be last either. Enough on this subject.

We were care shopping a lot on Saturday after visiting my mom for mother's day. Finally after long days of looking and searching the internet for consumer reports we got a 2006 Pontiac torrent. I signed the papers on my first brand new vehicle with 11 miles on it. I was so excited. I am not excited with the note after not having it and having money to save but hey we needed it. I am really proud of it.

Everyone else is doing well. The kids are growing up and I am wondering where the time goes. Alyssa, the oldest, is so excited because she is starting Kindergarten this year. She finished headstart and is ready to go back. Jessica is able to say things and you finally figure out what she wants. We are still working on that mommy temper she has that gets hurt butt popped A LOT.

Enough of my ranting. This is all I have been up to.

Fantastic Weekend

My weekend has been awesome. John went to visit the friend at the hospital down in Hattiesburg. He needed to go and be with his buddy that had surgery and hopefully give Greg's wife a break. The room mate had a drill this weekend. So that left me and the girls. My best friend and I decided to carry the three kids to the zoo. That was fabulous. I really enjoyed it so much. Just to get out of the house and do things with my kids. That was the best. I really think they had a good time too. And no the zoo did not keep any of us. :D


Dyz I did get one picture of the three of us.


Not really much else to tell. Today was very productive. I got my house straightened up and in line only to start the week off on the right foot. I have made my list of things that I need to do. I am excited because for once i feel like I have made some progress on things.


My friend has helped me to feel much better about myself. I am finding that she has given me more confidence about me that I did not have before. More confidence that I did not have before. I feel good about myself and am working to improve that. I have been so unsure of alot of things and she has helped me more than anyone else could. So I am hoping that this new boost will give me the go get what I want and need attitude. Thank you for that, you know who you are.

I am posting some pictures of our zoo mayham...

Rocky Road Traveling

I have pebbles on my road right now. Some seem more like boulders than pebbles that I can kick off. There is really not much that I can elaborate on.

The house is running somewhat better for me. I have roomie doing some chores around the house and hoping that my husband will follow suit. We will see how well that will happen.

The kids are growing up more and more by the day. Jessica is trying so hard to pose words from her jabbers. I am really thinking this change is babysitters was for the best. Alyssa is now out of headstart and eagerly looking forward to kindergarten. That really makes me proud to know she is ready to go for it.

John is being consumed by work and has me feeling like I am the last one on his priority list. It hurt me to have to tell him that is the way I was feeling. But it is the truth. There is no easy way to explain that I feel pushed aside and so unimportant. He is suppose to be going to Hattiesburg to check up on a buddy that just had surgery. I felt like Greg needed it since they are really good friends.

I met my best friend today for lunch and that was great. She and I are having some boulder in the road times here lately. She seemed to think that maybe I need to go to the doctor for a checkup and maybe they would give a low antidepressants. I am not ready for that. I did not have that problem after Jessica was born and don't feel that urge now. I might be depressed sometimes with these moods I have and maybe my pride is standing in the way of me doing anything about it. I don't know. I feel like I can swing them in my own way. I listed out my plate today and thought wth? How the hell did some of it get on there because I don't recall asking for a big scoop of this or that. It was overwhelming. I know that much. Maybe it will all calm down soon. I am hoping anyways. Well, I have to get off here and do some cleaning off of my plate.