NOt much to blab about...

There is not much going on here. Just the usual work and home stuff. I am trying to get everyone well. John is having alot of issues sleeping at night but seems not to have that problem during the early early mornings. I am not sure what to do about that one or how to go about fixing it. I just know it is a problem for him. He wishes not to find a night time job but I worry about him in the day time work with the lack of sleep. I know this can not be health. He has spoken to some other guys that are having the same problem here.

The kids are doing fine. They have been beyond me this past weekend. John is having to step up to the plate alot not just to handle some of the issues with the kids. I feel the exhaustion from doing it all the time.

We are also finding that more and more kids we know 16 to 19ish are coming up pregnant. Makes me nervous about my girls. But then I am hoping this will not be an issue with them out of fear that I will beat some a$$. I don't understand why now days parents are so scared to do this. Our oldest one thought she was to big for a spanking this weekend. (Remember now she is only 5) Put it to you this way she got a good spanking in which she had to go and bring me the beater and then take it back. Talk about one pissed off child. She rubbed that butt for a while. But I got her attention from it and after wards (some time afterwards) I got loved on. I will not have my child become so unruled. They have to have some fear in them somewhere, however I am lacking on finding that but their dad can find that very well with his tone. I don't understand that one either. He gets their attention without spanking them. All he has to do with Jessica is say "sit" and with Alyssa it takes more but never does he have to spank them.

My shoulder has been killing me for some time. I think it is stress related but I don't have time to seek attention for it. I have to many things to tend to right now. I am working on schedules for the gym. Woo hoo go me. I have been working out some in the evenings but it is mostly by means of lifting my youngest and tossing her in the air. ( that in itself is 32 lbs of weight.)

Today I am at work all alone. I am so lonely and tired so the thoughts hit me of what more I could/ should be doing. And our sales of houses are picking up some. It is great. We have 3 contracts on homes that should close between now and August.

Goals.....

Okay here goes. I have set thing title as goals. They are here:::

1.) I am going to become better at working and being creative with my projects.
2.) I am going to work out in the evenings and work to get up early and hit the gym.
3) To find a healthy diet and stick to it.

Yes I have slacked on this. I got lazy last night. WAY LAZY. I went home and had John pick up dinner and went to bed. I know bad. I suppose extra pushups are required for this manner of neglect. This heat is torture.

I have gotten into a routine and have become really negative here about it. I have to break it and do it soon. My mind needs to be refreshed. I am finding that I am on the internet alot more than what I should be rather than doing my research and stuff. I have gotten better about keeping my house picked up (minus last night).

I say these because people make me irrate. Alyssa's mother is dealing with John this past weekend and she tends to hate that she can't get through to me. (I on the other hand am happy to hand that one off to its rightful owner. Not my call on alot that has to do with the child as bad as I hate that.)

John and I are working things out for the most part. This weekend and yesterday I have had issues holding my mouth shut on things. So they flew when I probably should have kept my mouth shut. I feel that I am slowly finding my way back to who I use to be. Now if this is good or bad I don't really know. I tended to say things that probably should have been locked down somewhere but they came out anyways. I, for now, think that I am doing well. I am just not holding anything in anymore but am trying to be more considerate of those feelings on the reciever. We will see what happens when I have to pick Alyssa up on Friday. Who knows what will happen there. Keep your fingers crossed on this one.

My job is well. I have worked alot this week so far. I have been called the marketing coordinator or something along that lines. Now is that will stick will be something else. I have designed and published out brochures, emails, flyers, and misc information for the products we have on the market. We are really trying to move them. Who knows maybe one day soonish I will proceed with this real estate agent thing.

Not Much Going on Here Today!

We have a ton of shit going on around here this weekend. We are trying to juggle Father's Day stuff around. I tell you what. This is getting harder and harder every year. Between my family and his and now of course he is a father.

Last night there was an arguement between John and Alyssa's mother when she dropped Alyssa off. I have a hard time making her listen to me so he had a lot of things to say to her and talk to her about when it comes to their child. She did not much like it because she has been use to talking to me and running it through me and now he wants her to talk directly to him. It is a pain to make a point to him I can tell you that much but she has to work at it.

As you can see I have finally gotten around to posting pictures of the party. None of which have me in there at all. :) Sorry no no no. Not happening now. This is it for me right now.

Uncle Jim, I am still in search of what to improve. One is organizing myself to schedule my gym workouts. Of course it would help if I had a partner but I don't think that will happen. So here we go with push ups. After my shoulder heals.

More pictures...

They were tired after the party!

Jessica climbing down from the shoulders of daddy.

Present time for Alyssa

It turned into a pool party!

I want you man!

Pictures of the party....

Alyssa took this of her birthday cake. Can you tell?

This is the night before when we were getting things ready. Jessica gets on the shelves and plays. Guess she was ready for dinner. ...

Hey I am taking my food somewhere else! You guys are to big for me.

Can you find Princess Alyssa?

Princess Tony in the house.

Just Posting!

Well, I am just posting right now. We are moving along during the day and my nights are full of working around the house. I tell you it is always something. I got alot of things cleaned up and tossed out last night. My days are busier here at work but that seems to be the only time that I am able to post here.

I have gotten some very discouraging news. I stepped on the dreaded lying machine last night and saw that all the weight I lost before child has come back. Today I feel it and have set my mind to doing something about it. I am sure that it is not going to kill me working it off my butt. I have to do it though. The size I am not makes me very unhappy and discouraged from feeling anything but sexy.

I know I have lacked alot of things and now I am coming to a boil with the stress. My job is stressing me out some and between that and my house my shoulder is so sensitive and achey. I know that is a sign of to much stress on me. I know that some of it I have added on me but goodness I never saw this much stress in my life. I wonder how I managed to juggle everything before and now I have to sit down and juggle it some more and find that way I did it.

I am setting my mind to getting a house built in the near future. I am not sure how near but I want all the details done and ready before I put it all in motion. I work in the home building field and that is something that I dread about clients. They don't know what they want and want to constantly change their minds. I am sure alot of it will one day be me but for the most part I want things to run smoothly when it comes down to my side. Me attempting to do the school thing to sell real estate won't happen for a while now. I can say that it will have to take a seat on the back burner for the time being. I can't add more stresses on me than what I have right now for fear of what it is going to do to me.

I know I forgot about the picture posting. As soon as I find my mind under all the jabbers and list and post its I will get that down. I am so unorganized right now and it is driving me crazy. I am getting there though I promise.

The boys in the house are doing fine. They are getting along great. And they both get along with me just fine. I have stopped asking them for help and have realized that I get more accomplished when I just handle it myself. I should have known better from prior experiences though. John is taking up more and more time with the girls though. I am so pleased to see that one happening. Jessica, the baby, has become a daddy's baby girl and I don't know how to handle that. I am just use to her being a mama's baby and for her to make the swap is just heartbreaking for me. But then some of me gets those happy butterflies when he can do something with her and makes her all giddy. That is the best. I am not sure what it is with him but they seem to mind him a hell of a lot better than me. Boy do I have to figure that one out.

Well, I have a ton of things on my list here to do at work and should start on it.

My daughter's 5th birthday.

Today marks the 5th birthday of my daughter. My goodness! Where has the time gone. She was just born when I married her dad. Now she is already 5. Growing up like a weed and smart as anything. Sometimes a royal smart ass but I am assuming that she gets that from her dad.


We spent today playing in her pool that I got her yesterday. My yard has somehow become a kids playyard. There is the pool that I have to take down and redo. Then a swingset, trampoline and a slip and slide back there. What kind of parent am I am becoming allowing my house to overrun with kid stuff. Oh there is also a hammock for me of course. But you know who spends alot of time in there when we are out there. That is just unreal.


I am by no means totally ready for the birthday party tomorrow. It is insanity to think that I could do parties. I am just not ready for this at all. Here is it 11:08PM and I feel as though I have accomplished nothing. I have been going all day long and managed to pick up some around the house and get the pool done and John mowed the yard. But I have gotten the beds stripped down and washed. Woo HOO. Now I am about to be off for some napping. I can nap for a little then I have to put a foot up the butt and get things done.

More pictures to come I am sure.

One Hell of a Day!!

Today has been one hell of a day. Things are just insane around here. I have been busy at work which is great to have picked up. Then I get home and still have actual work to complete but no time to get it done. I have had this damn cleaning bugg that bit me in the ass tonight. I cleaned out my girls room. I realized that half of the toys in the room that I would step on every time I opened the door was unneeded. I put the toy box in the closet and sat my mind to clearing all of it out of there. I decided to dump it at the thrift store in the morning. I have 3 bags of toys that they don't play with anymore. I am even sending some over to a friend of mine that just had a baby. So I am doing some good around the house.

I don't know what is going on with the people in my house but it seems that the moods are high on the shoulders making it much easier for an explosion. I don't get it. I hate that things got bad tonight but I was not going to be the one the jump in the middle and be the ref on this one. I am only hoping that they will both see that they were both in the wrong. I mean seriously both of the owe each other an apology and they both were behaving worse than my year old. Does that say something?

It is now 11pm here and all I have managed to get done is my laundry put away and some ironing done. Oh and the kids room. WOo Hooo. I got something done. I still want to get some advertising items done for work but not sure that is going to happen tonight. We will see though. I can only hope.

I got a wonderful shock this weekend. My hubby sister found him via myspace. She is now 17 and living in Ohio. I was like wow. They have not had much contact and each grew up with their mother (they have separate moms). Neither of them really had contact with the bio father. I thought that was sad but after hearing the story from my husband over and over I can completely understand. Now John is not sure when or if he will hear from the bio or not. He is not even sure that he wants to either. THat is where I think it is sad. He is not much on keeping contact and not sure that will change. I was just happy that maybe some of his family will reunite. Maybe I have more inlaws out there. (Not sure weather to dreed this idea or not...)

Well, that is all for now. I have work to actually sit here and hope my mind is working for me after my eventful night and now a drink.

another pic for semper fi post

pics going with semper fi post.

Semper Fi

This came across my desk today at work and I thought AWESOME GOTTA SHARE IT. DAYZ, hunny enjoy it. Thought this would brighten your Monday.


I thought this was worth passing on.


CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. ( March 2, 2006 )Karla Comfort received a lot of looks and even some salutes from people when she drove from Benton, Ark., to Camp Pendleton, Calif., in her newly-painted, custom Hummer H3 March 2. The vehicle is adorned with the likeness of! her son, 20-year-old Lance Cpl. John M. Holmason, and nine other Marines with F Company, 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division who where all killed by the same improvised explosive device blast in Fallujah, Iraq, in December.



For Karla Comfort, having the vehicle air brushed with the image of the 10 Marines was a way to pay homage to her hero and his fellow comrades who fell on Iraq's urban battlefield. "I wanted to let people know (Marines) are doing their jobs honorably, and some of them die," said the 39-year-old from Portland , OR "I don't want people to forget the sacrifices that my son and the other Marines made."

Leading up to her son's death, Karla Comfort had received several letters from him prior to his return. He had been deployed for five months, and Comfort "worried everyday he was gone until she got the letters and found out the date he was coming home," she said Marines knocked on the front door of her home in Farmington , Mich. , at 3 am with the dreadful news."I let my guard down when I found out he was coming home," she said. "There are times that I still cannot believe it happened. It's very hard to deal with."

Karla Comfort came up with the idea for the rolling memorial when she and her two other sons attended John's funeral in Portland, Ore. "I saw a Vietnam (War) memorial on a car, and I said to my son Josh, 'we should do something like that for John,' she recalled. "He loved Hummers." She purchased the vehicle in January and immediately took it to AirbrushGuy & Co. in Benton, Ark. , where artist Robert Powell went to work on changing the plain, black vehicle into a decorative, mobile, art piece. "I only had the vehicle for two days before we took it in," she joked.

Two hundred and fifty man-hours later, Powell had completed the vehicle. The custom job would have cost $25,000. Out of respect for Karla Comfort's loss and the sacrifices the Marines made, Airbrush Guy & Co. did it for free. Comfort only had to purchase the paint, which cost $3,000. "I love it," she said. "I'm really impressed with it, and I think John would be happy with the vehicle. He would have a big smile on his face because he loved Hummers."
Karla Comfort gave Powell basic instructions on what to include in the paint job But in addition to the image of her son in Dress Blues and the faces of the nine other Marines, there were several surprises. "He put a lot more on than I expected," she said. "I think my favorite part is the heaven scene." On the left side of the vehicle, a detail of Marines are depicted carrying their fallen comrades through the clouds to their final resting place. The American flag drapes across the hood, the words, "Semper Fi" crown the front windshield and the spare tire cover carries the same Eagle Globe and Anchor design that her son had tattooed on his back. "All the support I have been getting is wonderful," she said.Karla Comfort decided to move back to her hometown of Portland, and making the cross-country trip from Arkansas was a way for her to share her son's story. It's also her way of coping with the loss. "Along the way I got nothing but positive feedback from people," she said. "What got to me was when people would salute the guys (Marines). It's hard to look at his picture. I still cry and try to get used to the idea, but it's hard to grasp the idea that he's really gone."

Now if only Cindy Sheehan would only be so inspired instead of carrying around her cardboard signs of hate!

At Random!

Giddy up horsey... Mom it is not moving

Come on now. I am trying to watch my show.
Daddy will you try to catch this?

One tired Daddy

Proud Nene Can you tell?

I have not had a lot of interesting things happening around here lately. I come about one of the guys I use to date and it has been awesome talking to him. Sounds like he is doing well for himself which I am so glad to hear. He is in law enforcement now so I guess I have to watch the P's and Q's.

I finally have new pictures of the kids to post. I am happy about it. Last night I carried Alyssa to see "Over the Hedge" then stayed up chatting with my friends till after midnight. Of course you know early to rise with the baby. So I am here early early than I want to be. I am contemplating on the breakfast thing. Jessica is jabbering in the chair next to me. She has the idea that she is a big girl and can climb in the kitchen chairs. What fun? My baby is ready to grow up quickly and I am not wanting to see that one bit. Stresses me of what is out there in the world for her. Will she always make the right decisions or muck something up like I have been known to do. Same with the oldest but she gives me inspirations and hopes that I know she will do right. She comments on these evil ass kids that choose to play in the street, shoot my vehicle with a water gun or walk in front of me while I need to turn. Of course with her she thinks mom can just get out and beat some butt of those kids that are out of sight of parents and of course not doing right. Where did these parents go? They drop them off at the movie and pick them up whenever without concern of what is going on? Or let them outside unattended to romp around the subdivision. If only they were mine....

I have pictures of the Sunday before Memorial Day when we went out to my parents. Thank God for my parents. I am not sure how I would handle this on the verge of depression without them. Mom seems to understand things and always has more than 2 cents to put in there. I listen and then usually find my own path though. But thank you mom.

Work seems like it will pick up some. I am sure hoping so. Of course the boss came in yesterday and was talking with the manager and says there are alot of things that are going to change. Our building company may stay up and running but the superintendent will go. We will see. I think the lady that does all the customer service and complaint handling is about to get more than she bargained for. I think she is going to teach me more about the construction business and I want to mainly know about the building side of it. I have some passions for that one. I would love to build a house but I know that there is alot of things that still I do not know just yet.

Okay that is about it for me. I have a house to get cleaned. One more birthday party next weekend. Alyssa will be turning 5 next weekend. Where has the time gone. I remember when she was born for goodness sakes. Yeah I have been around and with John before the birth of Alyssa. Needless to say she is so much of a mama's baby. Of course I could not love her more if I gave birth to her myself. I love both my girls even when they are adding to my grey hair. Thank goodness there is hair dye.