Just having fun.

As you can see we have been trying to have a little goofy time. I have really began to love my moments with my child even I look like a doofus. Sometimes in the complicated world we should all take time out to be a doofus sometimes.

I have had a ton on me here lately with thoughts and wonders and worries but they are all becoming clear. There are no needs to bother with any of them since I can not change them. Just live the life and be a little goofy sometimes to forget about it. Put it away and handle it later. Yeah I know that is procrastinating. But life is short to handle to much shit at one time.

I have been having some me time with the gym here lately. I am on my second night straight and a total of 3 miles. That is good for now. My legs are killing me but I am hoping it will be well worth it soon.

Enough for now. It is off to bed for me. Hope you enjoy the goofy pictures. Remember smile and live a little. Life is short and shorter every day.

Peachy

All is just peachy here I should say. Should I say living out the fairy tale of a little girls dreams. (Should I remind everyone this is not the fairy tale that I always had in my mind.)

My fairy tale life would go something like this in reality. A man of my dreams sweeping me off my feet rather than knocking my feet out from under. THen we would have a little house with a few kids (K I already have the little house with the two kids.) All the attention in the world devoted to what I wanted and the way I wanted. ( This must be the tricky part.) I am an open book so I hear about what I want. But some can't read obviously!

Well, enough here. Things are in the alright area. Not perfect as they ever were but not as bad as they ever were either. That is all out of me.

I am alright. The kids are alright. John is alright.

AS YOU CAN SEE

AS YOU CAN SEE THERE IS NOT MUCH GOING ON. TRYING TO STAY ON THE SHELLS THAT FLOAT.

OUR OLDEST STARTED SCHOOL LAST WEEK. THE FIRST WEEK THERE WE HAD TROUBLES KEEPING THE MOUTH CLOSED. IT WAS A HUGE ADJUSTMENT FOR HER TO GO FROM HEADSTART TO KINDERGARTEN. HER MOTHER AND I ARE TRYING TO TALK ABOUT THINGS AND HANDLE THINGS AS THEY COME ABOUT. IT IS ALL A MATTER OF GETTING HER TO DO RIGHT. WE FOUND THAT WE HAVE TO WORK HARD WITH HER TO GET HER UP TO WHERE SHE SHOULD BE AND ABOVE THAT. WE DON'T WANT HER TO BE BEHIND ON ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. OF COURSE I HAVE JOINED THE PTO THERE AND OUR FIRST MEETING IS TONIGHT AT 6PM. A PLUS TO THIS IS THAT JOHN IS GOING TO MAKE THE MEETING TOO. (IMAGINE MY SHOCK HERE.) I AM ALOT EXCITED ABOUT THIS. I WAS NOT EXCITED ABOUT ALL THE DARNED FEES AND SUCH WE HAVE HAD TO FORK OUT AT FIRST. THAT ONLY MAKES ME PONDER ON WHERE THE HELL OUR TAX MONEY IS GOING.

THE YOUNGEST ONE IS GETTING TOUGHER. I AM TRYING TO MAKE HER NOT SO WHINNY AND TO BE A TOUGH LITTLE GIRL. SHE AMAZES ME AT HOW MUCH SHE IS PICKING UP ON. SHE IS ALWAYS LEARNING SOMETHING NEW AND PUTS IT ALL TO GOOD USE. SHE IS ONE SMART LITTLE COOKIE.

AS FOR EVERYTHING IT IS ALL STILL THERE JUST KEEPS COMING ABOUT IN DIFFERENT FORMS AND SHADES. JUST NOT SURE HOW TO HANDLE ALL THE SHADES COMING ABOUT. I AM MANAGING EVERYTHING TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY BUT THE STRESS IS JUST THERE AND SHOWS SOMETIMES. I FEAR THAT I AM SHOWING MUCH OF AGE AND NOT SURE THAT IS GOOD FOR A 26 YEAR OLD. I NOTICE THE BAGS UNDER MY EYES ARE GETTING DARKER. THE WEIGHT IS COMING AND GOING. THE HAIR IS TURNING COLORS AND THE ACHES ARE MORE NOTICIBLE RIGHT NOW. I AM NOT ONE TO SAY STUFF HURTS MUCH BECAUSE I AM TOUGH ENOUGH TO HANDLE THINGS. JUST SEEMS I AM BECOMING WEAKER. I SUPPOSE IT WILL BE ALRIGHT ONE DAY THOUGH. ONE DAY THE MUCH NEEDED REST WILL APPEAR AND I WILL GLADLY ACCEPT.

I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON TRYING TO HEAD BACK INTO SCHOOL ONE DAY FOR SOMETHING NEW AND EXCITING. BUT AT THIS RATE THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL FOR ME RIGHT NOW. THERE ARE TO MANY DEPENDENTS ON ME AT THIS MOMENT. MAYBE WHEN BOTH MY KIDS HEAD OFF TO SCHOOL AND CAN BETTER DO FOR THEMSELVES. MAYBE WHEN SOME OF THE SLACK CAN BE PICKED UP AND I FEEL THAT OTHERS CAN HANDLE DOING FOR THEMSELVES. QUESTION IS WILL THIS EVER BE THE CASE? WILL THIS EVER HAPPEN? WE SHALL SEE.

THIS IS ALL MY STUFF FOR TODAY.